As with everyday, today has been full of decisions. Many no more significant than “Is that too much peanut butter to have on my toast?”. But today has stood out in the fact that actually today I did make an important decision.
On Friday I got an email inviting me to an interview later this week. It was for a job I’d applied for a few weeks ago and had kinda forgotten about! At the time I applied, I wasn’t really sure I wanted the job, I was applying to push a door and because it was relatively local.
Today I emailed back to tell them that I wouldn’t be going to the interview.
As someone pretty desperate for a new job, as someone crushed when I don’t get interviews for the stuff I apply for, you may think it a bit weird, contradictory and ungrateful not to take this interview. But it goes back to that self preservation that I wrote about last week. After my experience with interviews last year, I’m not up to putting myself through the interview process when I don’t actually really want the job. It might be really good experience, but at the end of the day I had to ask myself, what is more important? I need to preserve my self-esteem, my confidence, my sanity, myself…
So today I made a bold, brave… stupid(?) decision.