Yesterday some friends at college were talking about the worst things that they’d ever said to their mums. I shared with them the worst (read weirdest) thing my mum ever said to me. It was a random memory that suddenly bubbled up in that moment, one that is a little infamous in our family. It is a memory that always make me smile.
There is a cupboard under the stairs in my parents’ house. It used to be my toy cupboard, before Harry Potter made them cool, because I probably would have tried to sleep in there if I knew…
But it used to get really untidy, and my mum would regularly have to help me tidy up the cupboard. One day, she was in the depths of the cupboard sorting something out and a vase, i stress this point a vase- I was about 8 and not known for my extensive vase collection, fell off a shelf and hit her on the head.
From the depths of the cupboard she shouted “Alexandra Elizabeth Bradley, I loathe you!” My brother and I, who were on the outside of the cupboard, just looked at each other and then my mum came out, with the vase, laughing. And then we all joined in. It would have definitely been the worst thing my mum ever said to me… if she was serious… but she wasn’t. So it was in fact one of the weirder things she ever said to me, and my most middle class telling off by far.