What an interesting question… I’ve pondered this question a lot since I first read it on the list of prompts at the beginning of Lent.
I guess there are some aspects of grief that society think go hand in hand with being a woman. I think it is far more socially acceptable for a woman to cry, openly, and at length. Indeed, I think sometime society has a problem with women who don;t necessarily express grief through tears. Society at large is comfortable with a vulnerable woman quietly sobbing in the corner. I think that there is still more of a “societal problem” with a man crying or openly showing emotion. Part of some of the death and bereavement seminars I have done with young people over the last few years has been attempt to normalise tears amongst all genders.
I think the opposite is probably true with anger in grief. I’m guessing that society would be more uncomfortable with a woman’s rage than a mans- but I have very little to base that on, I’m just guessing.
I think the fact that I researched, I read, I wrote, I learned and I got published because of (?) my grief breaks with societies rules a little maybe. I would imagine that isn’t the standard “rule” for a grieving person- especially a comparatively young one.
But these are all my guesses, because as much as I have pondered this prompt for a while, I don’t know if there is a firm answer.