Over this blog project there will be hopefully four guest blogs. I will give a short introduction to each, like this one, so you know who is writing. But will leave everything else to them. These blogs will vary in their subject matter, just like all the ones I’m writing. And the writers vary in their backgrounds and their relationship to me. Today’s blog, however, is still relatively personal to me and written by someone I’m very close to… My big brother Simon.

Write about siblinling rivalry…

What an eye-rollingly obvious topic, eh? Perhaps, but it’s notas if I could reel off a thousand examples of competitions and fights between Lex and I. Our relationship has constituted many things over the years, but I’m not sure that “rivalry” really features.

My wife Nicci and I have recently been debating the pros and cons of various age-gaps between siblings, and it’s emerged – probably not surprisingly – that we’ve both been influenced heavily by our own experiences. A gap of 1 or 2 years, such as my wife’s to her older brother, means that playing together and sharing toys is a lot more likely. From a parental point of view (where being even a tiny bit selfish is a rare treat), there’s a lot more chance that they’ll basically keep each other busy and therefore out of your hair for longer as well!

She definitely found her brother annoying at times, but the relationship from her perspective was a lot about admiration, emulation, and trying to match him skill-for-skill. In physical terms this was never going to work (as you’ll know if you’ve met them!), and all too often games ended with Niccicrumpled in a heap and her brother emitting a panicked “don’t tell mum!” They were academically close enough together, though, for rivalry to emerge on things like their daily times-tables and spelling challenges. Undoubtedly this pushed them both forwards. As a result of all this (and many more reasons I won’t go into), she favours leaving – as much as you can ever be in control of it – a smaller gap between children. [Calm down Lex, step away from the knitting!]

For Lex and I, the gap is 4¾ years – a virtual lifetime in child terms. Somewhere near the top end of primary school I worked out that our parents were separated by 8 years, andthat the equivalent for me at that point would have been marrying a literal toddler! Too weird. At school, fraternising with anyone outside your own year was just not the donething. Sunday school and family friends might widen the acceptability somewhat, but I don’t think Lex and I were ever that close to being on the same page.

I can’t really remember us ever playing something together that we both enjoyed and in which we were equally invested,so there was never really a contest. I do, however, remember very clearly bartering with Lex on the subject of playtime. I would offer half an hour of my time to her (playing what I couldn’t tell you) in return for me getting a human GranTurismo opponent for one race. Keen to actually make it a race, I would pick a car with around 20% of the horsepower of hers. I had also discovered a handicap feature which would put me 1km further back from the start line, and with those two tweaks in place … I only beat her by maybe 30 seconds.

Rivalry is, I suppose, determination to best another person at something. In the example above, I knew I was going to win and Lex didn’t care. Trying to think about when her skills and abilities have frustrated me, it’s family holidays that come to mind.

If there’s one time when siblings have no choice but to stick together and make their own fun, with limited stuff and often in limited space, it is these times. And many of ours were *special* holidays; I mean, tiddly cottage in a field behind the sea wall near Great Yarmouth, anyone? How about a wind-whipped cabin in the wilderness outside York? But even in these desolate places, Lex somehow managed to find a similarly-aged friend, a kindred spirit, among the neighbouring, desperate families.

Every time.

Quicker than you can say “oh look there’s a cupboard full of knackered board games!” she would be gone, leaving me with no play companion for the remaining 6.9 days of the holiday. I never hated Lex as a kid, but boy did that frustrate me.

So does a big age gap guarantee there won’t be sibling rivalry? I don’t think so. When it gets really nasty is in those families where one or both parents are, say, doctors, and two or more kids feel inclined to follow the same path. No matter what the age gap, that kind of pressure married to ease of comparison is going to end in tears. But, for Lex and I, it’s not exactly easy to score ourselves against the other.

Different secondary schools, different subject choices. Totally different approaches to further education. Shameless corporate career versus a (probable) life in charity, church and the public sector. She a published author and avid blogger, me … not. Unless you count video Press release.

But then again, at the first whisper of an invitation to get myself published by her royal blogness I leapt at the chance, determined to show that I can write something good too. Maybe she is a rival after all…



Hello you, 

I’m you, 8 whole years down the line. You might not want to listen to me, but please take a minute, I’ve got some things to tell you. 

Oh Lex. Brace yourself little girl, things are going to get rough. I know things right now have just tipped upside down, you don’t know which way is up and you feel like nothing makes sense. I hate to say this, but get used to that feeling. You will continue to lose your footing, fall on your bum and feel pretty lost for the next few years. 

I’m not gonna tell you what happens. It’s not my place to, I don’t think you’d believe me and you need to face it all to learn. But I’ve got some pointers and advice to pass on you from 8 years in the future. 

Don’t stop talking. Don’t stop expressing yourself, telling people what hurts and saying what you need. The moment you stop talking things will get so much worse. So find the right people and talk to them, use your words. 

Don’t fall in love with him, you know who I mean. Guard your heart, don’t be naive, don’t lose yourself trying to chase him, he won’t ever love you in the way you want him to. He’s gay (ok, I know I said I wouldn’t tell you what happened, but that one doesn’t count, cos you won’t believe me and will still fall hard). 

Know who your friends are. Don’t forget people who have been with you for so long, just because of a new face. It won’t last. That isn’t friendship. 

Don’t stop dancing. Don’t stop acting. Seriously. You will miss it SO much. 

I know you hate school at the moment, that gets worse over the next couple of years. It’s ok to hate it, it’s not great. Just don’t curse the building and all it stands for, vowing never to set foot there again. I’m not going to tell you why, you just never know what will happen in the future. 

Now, and this is the biggie, are you listening? Don’t forget anything. You are going to use everything that’s happening right now. Use it ways that you can’t imagine. Use it ways that you wouldn’t dream. You’re going to write a book, can you believe it?! (Ok, sorry ruining another surprise, but you always knew you had a book in you, right?) Your story, your words, your message comes out of a really painful place, I’m not going to lie. But use that pain. Harness it, let it drive you, don’t let it make you hard. Let it change you; make you softer, more compassionate, more reflective… (I’m going to use that word you hate) let it make you braver. 

You’ve got a big future in front of you little chum, don’t rush the next few years. You need the hard times to knock a few edges off and give you more motivation that you can ever imagine right now. 

Lex xx

P.S. Could you do me a favour? Come out. You’d save us a few years extra heartache and it really isn’t as scary as you think it will be! 



(Brace yourself, it’s thrilling) 

5:45am- My first alarm goes off, I turn it off and go back to sleep.

6:00am- My second alarm goes off, I turn it off and go back to sleep. 

6:15am- My third alarm goes off, I turn it off and go back to sleep. 

6:30am- My fourth and final alarm goes off, I turn it off and get out of bed. (I believe in the psychological benefits of getting to turn alarms off and go back to sleep, hence the 4 alarm system!) 

6:45am- I exit the shower and start to get ready. I have no ironed work trousers, I get cross at myself. I remember I’ve got to take my gym stuff to work and should have packed my bag last night, I get cross at myself again.

7:15am- I shove some lunch in my work bag and make breakfast. Normally I read the paper over breakfast, but today I had yesterday’s blog to write and upload, so over my tea and toast I wrote. 

7:40am- I leave for work.

7:50am- I arrive at work, turn my laptop on, check emails, check my planner and remind myself of what on earth I’m doing today. 

8:40am- Morning briefing. Stand awkwardly in/on/by a box. 

9:05am-  This morning is unusual in that we have whole school mass. So I get to not teach year 11 first thing on a Tuesday (huroo hurray) today and instead head down to the sports hall for mass. 

9:45am- Head back to the office and manage to waste a precious extra free drinking tea and randomly shuffling books around, get cross at myself. 

11:15am- Head to my classroom to teach year 8. Considering they’d just got out of mass they work well, we get lots done and I’m pleasantly surprised, a rarity with this class! 

12:15pm- After break I teach year 10. I really enjoy teaching this lot and we have a good lesson. 

12:55pm- Head into a department meeting. Fun times! 

1:35pm- Lunch time. Noodles are good for my belly and good my soul. 

2:15pm- On Tuesday afternoons everyone else teaches, so I get the office to my self. I crank up some tunes and try and get loads done. I get less done than I’d hoped, I get cross at myself. Starting to feel a bit poorly.

3:35pm- End of the school day and I head into a second department meeting. I know, how lucky can one gal be?! 

4:45pm- Leave work, feeling pretty rough. Was going to meet a friend at the gym but she couldn’t make it, so nip into Sainsburys on the way home to get some dinner. 

5:30pm- Catch up on personal emails (big day with lots of emails from publishers today!) over some dinner. 

7:15pm- Head to Bootcamp. Realise I’m the only one who’s turned up, so wind up having a personal training session! It’s tough, I nearly throw up, but make it through in spite of feeling really ill. 

8:15pm- Come home, grab a protein shake and find some ominous looking white spots in my throat. Oopsie! 

8:30pm- Put on Greys Anatomy and settle down to some marking. 

10:30pm- Get ready for bed and settle down to write Day 7 (but you know that, you’re reading it!) 

11:30pm- Post Day 7 and hit the hay. 

Lex xx

Haha, so I’ve not yet made it to double figures and I’ve already managed to miss a day! For those of you that can count, day 6 was indeed yesterday (Monday) and I am posting this today (Tuesday). Ooops! I was marking until about 11:30 last night and I just couldn’t take an extra half an hour to blog before hitting the hay. So I’m doing an early bird special today which also means you’ll get two in one day (I’ll post day 7 later on). I spoil you ambassador with this blogging goodness. 

The reasoning behind choosing today’s prompt is twofold. One, because day 5 (the vlog blog) took me forever to sort and day 4 was a bit more of a thought provoking piece and two, because I’m writing this quick before I go to work. 

So what is in my bag…? One sec, let me get my bag… 

1) Half a bottle of Diet Coke: I drink it a lot and there is normally some remnants in my bag. 

2) Two pairs of 3D glasses: I go to the cinema a lot, so always need to be prepared. I also have a very forgetful friend who always forgets hers. 

3) My purse: I needs the money. 

4) My film journal: See the afore mentioned “lots of films”. I’m writing down and reviewing every single film I watch in 2015 and my Moleskine film journal makes me happy to be alive. 

5) A small pharmacy: I used to work at Boots and since then seem to travel with the medication for all manner of accidents and emergencies, just in case. 

6) Lip Balm: I do not currently wish to disclose how many lip balms are in my bag. I have a bit of a problem/obsession with having a lot of lip balm with me. My sister in law once counted 12 in one handbag. 

7) Perfume: Although this is a bit useless currently since my epic 2 1/2 month (and counting) illness marathon has rendered me temporarily anosmic. 

8) Tissues: See the afore mentioned illness. There is much nose blowing afoot right now. 

9) 2 Beanie hats: I always carry a hat just in case. I think I forgot there was already one in there. 

10) Inhaler: It’s in there for show really, I don’t need to use it much. Although on days, like yesterday, when delightful children decide to spray deodorant all over my classroom, I’m glad it’s there! 

Well that was exciting wasn’t it?! Check in later for Day 7. 

Lex xx





Hindsight is a wonderful thing and a cruel teacher isn’t it? 

There are so many things that I wish someone had told me over the last 25 years, there are so many things that I wish I’d learned sooner and way more things, if I’m honest, that I’d listened to when somebody DID take the time to tell me! 

I wish someone had told me…

• That my life was going to turn upside down at 16.
• That there was no “right” way to grieve.
• That coming out wouldn’t be as scary as it seemed.
• That I didn’t “need” my ALevels but it would probably be sensible to actually work for them.
• That enjoying eating so much in my teenage years would make the 20 year old Lex hate me!
• That the silly stubborn streak I posses (and despise) would become my greatest resource (and worst enemy).
• That I’m going to have to go through the interview process A LOT and sometimes it’s going to really hurt.
• What real friends looked like.
• To properly start writing much sooner.
• To practice the flipping piano!!

So many things I wish I’d known sooner, learnt quicker, payed attention to and not had to learn from hindsight’s mocking ‘I told you so’. But do you know what? I needed hindsight. I wouldn’t have learnt what I have and be who I am without having to learn these things myself.

So in many ways, I’m glad I never knew, was never told or didn’t listen. 

Lex xx

A bit of a tactical choice in today’s prompt. I’ve spent the day at Whittlebury Hall Spa, so for obvious reasons haven’t had the time or space to write anything today. But that doesn’t mean I don’t want to make sure day 3 happens.

So my story without words is my day summed up in a picture. A story of pampering, relaxation and making a new friend in the lovely lady who made my face feel like the queen’s face must feel… Royal not old.

Anyhoo, there will be some proper writing shaped writing tomorrow. Laters potaters
Lex xx

THIS!!

I’m sorry because THIS wasn’t supposed to be today’s topic and it’s completely lame in comparison. I have this morning shot and edited a vlog (one prompt) covering where I blog from (a second prompt). Two birds with one blog baby!! But I’m having epic, ipad/imovie not talking to Youtube/computer issues and I’m about to burst into tears and need to get something sorted and posted for today. 

I apologise for a lot of stuff, I’m so very English in the way that I approach life. If there is nothing to apoligise for then I’ll genuinely be quite sorry about that. My personal favourite apology of mine was when a man got out of his car next to me and slammed his door into my car and I smiled at him and said sorry!?! Too many sorrys for my own good right there!! 

So, little readers, I am genuinely sorry that my best laid plans have gone awry this morning. But rest assured that when I have more time and patience, that there will be a vlog/blog treat for you… 

See you tomorrow when I’ll maybe be less rubbish (or maybe not)!!

Lex xx

If you didn’t see on Facebook or Twitter, I’m struggling with “where do I go from here?” writers block after my last very important, personal and well read blog. As a cure to that, I’m aiming to blog every day in lent with the help of some simple writing prompts. 

A relatively easy start today, and I like the idea that there is still so much that people don’t know about me. I am, in many ways, far too open, almost candid, in my blogs and on social media. But there are still many things that you don’t know. Let me throw some facts at your eyes… 

1) I have dermotillomania (obsessive skin picking). Ever seen me chewing my fingers or picking at the skin on my arms and face? Yeah I find that difficult to stop! I can lose half an hour at bedtime if I get picking..

2) I have technically had plastic surgery (on Harley Street no less). I have a tooth implant, it’s hand painted and is complete with a big chunk of titanium screwed into my jaw. In the event of a nuclear explosion I like to think my implant will become part of the new cockroach kingdom 

3) My favourite animals are goats. I can’t really tell you why, I just really like them. I think they’re cute and would love a pet goat. Bucks goat centre is my favourite place on earth! 

4) I once spread a rumour about myself. In year 8, half of my year believed that I was pregnant for a about a week. Again, I can’t really tell you why that happened. It was a joke that got out of hand and seemed funny at the time. 

5) I used to have an imaginary twin. She was called Jess. I really wanted a twin. (I also had an imaginary dog called Barney) 

6) One of my favourite books as a child was called ‘Isabelle’s Noisy tummy’ and is ultimately about a girl accidentally farting at school. Comedy gold. 

7) I sucked my thumb until I was 8. Actually, to be honest, if I’m watching telly in bed or feeling particularly sad/poorly it still happens. 

8) When I was little I was scared of Moira Stewart (the news reader). It was because she had really intense, piercing eyes and not, like my brother said, because I was racist as a child. 

9) I can fit 16 mini cheddars in my mouth. True story. 

10) (And here’s a revelation) I’ve never seen a Star Wars, Lord of the rings or James Bond film… And I’m a little bit proud of that. 

So there you go, 10 lesser known facts about me. Why don’t you share some things that other people might not know…

See you tomorrow 
Lex xx